Seasonal transitions are sometimes interesting. There's a letting go- of fun Summer activities, travel, and laughs by the pool. There's the anticipation of all the new season brings- family gatherings, cooler nights, and even the aroma of cinnamon and spice.
For me, this time of year is a chance to reflect.
I like to use this transition to inventory how I live my life. Beginning after my husband's birthday (which always entails some serious fun) and ending at my daughter's birthday (about a month later), I stop drinking. I don't love being bunched in with the "sober October" crowd, but alas, it usually aligns. To be honest, I don't drink to excess, but my tolerance sure seems to creep back up by the time late September rolls around every year.
Mostly, I use the soberness of this time to consider WHY I reach for that glass of wine more evenings than not. Why do I need that "one more glass" when I'm out with friends? It's not that I can't have fun without it, but I tend to use it as a signal to myself: "Hey! It's time to chill out." On the evenings I don't drink, I often find myself toiling away on work projects right up until bedtime. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe having downtime is just too naked. Perhaps I don't want to deal with other things. But this month is a good chance for me to find different ways to pull back on my workaholism and find other triggers to help me remember to throttle back!
I was thinking about this need to fill every empty moment of my day with something, anything, and it occurred to me that maybe I feel vulnerable when I'm not blazing through my to-do lists. When this came to me, I simultaneously had relatively parallel conversations with a few clients. These are people who are recently finding themselves losing a fair amount of weight. And interestingly, they are experiencing a lot of what I am feeling right now—a feeling of being a bit uncomfortable in our own skin.
But why? Why would someone who is finally achieving their weight loss goals find themselves feeling uneasy? And why would someone like me, who is abstaining from something unhealthy, suddenly feel empty?
There is a vulnerability that arises when we shed things that we have used as avoidance tactics.
I use alcohol as a way to turn my mind off and finally shut down. Some people use food as a way to fill a void. Others use their physicality to hide behind. This is not a judgment; it's simply an observation I've made watching myself, my friends, and my clients.
But what happens when we drop our crutches?
When we can tap into this new space, even if it is uncomfortable, there is the chance to achieve a new vitality. This latest version of you might need a little polishing. How do you want to be seen in this world? If you're used to hiding (behind whatever shield you've been using), you may suddenly be a little shocked at how "seen" you feel. How do you want to be perceived now? Does this new emerging you feel like someone you like? None of these are questions I can help you answer, but you might want to consider them. I highly encourage you to talk about what's coming up for you. Talk to a confidant, a coach, a therapist, whomever you think you can trust with your feelings. Instead of avoiding what is coming to the surface, you might surprise yourself with what appears if you embrace it.
It might be time to shed your outdated view of yourself and say, "Let's go!" to the new you!
As always, if you'd like to chat with me about this or any other aspect of your health journey, please feel free to book your complimentary discovery call with me.
Yours in health,
DD Forrest
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